Post by victoria on Nov 8, 2005 12:01:20 GMT -5
Well, I'm the first post in this section. I decided to bust out the Brooks list. I don't even work there anymore. Well maybe next summer.
Things That Piss Me off at Work (The Complete List)
-Updated versions of toys that used to be cute:
Sara calls her Strawberry Punkcake
Santa's Little Helper / Santa's Little Whore
-Obnoxious mothers:
"I swear I saw that coyote on County and it had blood dripping from its mouth!" Okay, exaggerate a little more, bitch.
The woman that tries to act like she's intelligent by asking where I'm going to college, like she knows all about pharmacy, but walks around with no pants on, seriously, her coat just covering her in 30 degree weather. Not to mention the fact that she left her purse in her carriage out in the open in a front aisle and went to look at magazines in the back for 15 minutes. I was tempted to take it and hide it.
-People that insist we have a card like CVS and Shaw's, etc. No, you bastard, if we were going to get one we would have by now and I think I would know. I also like to brag about the discount card everyone that works at Brooks gets just to piss them off. "No only employees get those. We get 20% off and 30% off Brooks brand! It's great." Heh heh.
-People that either get mad at me personally for a price being too high or people that say, "Ugh, this is too expensive. I'm going to CVS." You should have gone there in the first place, idiot. Then I wouldn't have had to deal with you.
-People that get mad at me personally when we run out of something. Yes, because I bought all of it just to spite you.
-People that wait at the register when I'm not paying attention or I'm not there. They either obnoxiously yell "hello," "yoohoo," "anybody here" etc, or just stand there and stare at me. They can never just politely say, "Can you please help me?"
-Bastards that steal that go to our school. It's just plain offending. Come back when I'm not working or go to CVS.
-Old people that get shopping carts and end up only buying something that's so small, they could easily carry it. For example, a 5-pack of gum.
-10 cent coupons; oh boy, you really saved!
-People that say, "You missed out on a great day" or "You're missing out on a great day." Gee thanks, it's bad enough I have to be here waiting on bastards like you, but you just had to remind me.
-I try to walk away from the register and someone walks up and says, "You almost got away." Shut up.
-People that are in a hurry. You telling me to hurry up just makes me mess up more.
-People that talk on cell phones. Can you even put it down to say thank you?
-People that ask what we do "up in the office." Oh, we have wild orgies up there. Right, like we have enough time with you jerks who can't stand to hold on one second for me to come down cause I was trying to eat in peace.
-People that push the buttons or open toys that make noise. What are you, 5 years old? STOP. It's only okay for my friends to do that or the guy that was addicted to opening the Shrek 2 cookie jar. He was pretty funny.
-Nosy people that ask what the "April 6" on my hand means. Since you want to know so bad, i'll tell you. It's the day I'm going to kill you. JK
-People that "hover." That is, people that stand near the counter and you think they need to pay but then they walk away. A lady did this to me 4 times today. When she was actually ready, I had a huge handful of returns that I was about to put away and I had to drop them all for her. Bitch.
-People that try to carry 100 things instead of using a basket / a carriage. Then they drop their shit and it spills everywhere.
-People that aren't embarassed to buy enemas, especially the ones that tell me it's a great price. Ew. I'd be embarassed if I were you cause I'm laughing at you on the inside.
-Old people that fling their shit onto the counter, especially if it falls on the ground. Must you fling your shit at me? Would you like to come pick it up yourself?
-People that ask for bags for things with handles. The bag will break cause IT'S HEAVY. That is why a handle was conveniently put on it, not because it's pretty. Stop wasting my bags, jerk.
-People that tell me boring stories. I'm already miserable because I'm here, and now you have to burden me with this boring shit? I DON'T WANT TO TALK. Unless you're funny, find someone else to listen to you.
-People that stay at the register after they are done paying, doing random shit. Get out of the way, ass, I have a line.
-Horny obnoxious men:
A man looks a Cosmopolitan Magazine with Penelope Cruz on it. He starts making disgusting grunting noises and says, "Oh, isn't she the most stunning woman you've ever seen? She is so beautiful. Oh wow!" Dude, I'm a girl. Even so, I disagree. And I don't want to hear about the boner you have. Go talk to another middle-aged man like yourself about it, and leave me alone, bastard. Even worse, he bought the magazine.
-People that ask me if I'm taking a break because I come down from the office chewing. Actually, I was shoving my face with food so I could finish my dinner before it got cold. And, I don't get breaks unless assholes like you don't come in.
-People that ignore me when I say hi. Screw off.
-People that buy like 50 rolls of paper towels / toilet paper, etc. Yeah maybe it was a good sale but by the time this shit runs out, you will be on your death bed, your children will be parents, and there will have been 30 million more sales just like this one.
-People that give me a CVS card, write CVS on their checks, ask about sales that are actually at CVS, etc. With the exception of old people, that's just plain fucked up. How can you not know where you are? Did you not see the huge BROOKS sign when you walked in (not to mention the hundred other ones inside the store)?
-Cranky women:
This bitch riding a bike (I know this because of her clothes and bike helmet) storms up after pissing her pants about having to wait in line for a minute. She throws her tampons at me, pays, rips them out of the box, shoves them in her fanny pack, and hobbles off to the bathroom. Hey, here's some advice: it's called MIDOL.
-People that go to a register that is closed. There's not one, but TWO bright red signs that say "Please use other register." Jeez, are you blind?
-Don't smile at me when I'm frowning; I'm obviously pissed off at you.
-When I eat dinner behind the register, people always say, "Is that good?" God damnit, do I come to your job and stare at you while you eat and ask you questions? It makes me want to puke.
-People always hand me their Credit / Debit cards but I have no idea what they are, so I say, "Do you want Credit or Debit?" And they say, "Um, it's a credit card." Like I should know. Gee, sorry they look exactly the same. I can't read your mind, idiot.
-Obnoxious women:
Matt and Liam came to visit me the other night, so I was talking to them. A woman came up to me and said right in front of them, "Can you please tell me where the female deodarent is, for the vaginal region." Oh man, was I pissing my pants laughing. It was so embarassing.
-People who come up to pay so I start to ring them up. Then they walk away to get something else. DAMNIT.
-People that buy one million tubes of toothpaste, dental floss, etc. How could you possibly need so much all at once. Well actually, I'm probably wrong about that. Instead, from now on, I'll just make those crazy bastards explain that they're going underground for 10 years and need a lot of toothpaste. K?
-People who get mad about lines. Ahh, it's your fault you all came here at the same time.
-People that ask me to help them pick out crap for other people. What the hell? I don't even know you, how am I supposed to pick out something for one of your friends, family members, teachers, lovers, etc?
-Photo crap
People don't realized that we have to look at the 1 hour photo pictures. If we don't, people complain about the color etc. Well anyway, they bring in cameras with disgusting pictures of themselves naked, etc. AHHHHHHHHHHH!
People who bring pictures for overnight processing at around 7 PM and expect them back the next morning. Yep, we've got carrier pigeons that fly out every hour on the hour to be sure your film will be back at a convenient time for you. Right.
People that get mad at us for the quality of pictures they send out. Damnit, they're SENT OUT. Therefore, we do not do them. Sorry bitches.
People that regularly come in that have new rolls all the time. Not kidding, this one crazy lady brings AT LEAST 3 rolls in every other day. What the crap? Is this a child pornography business? Cause if I find out it is, I am not supporting you.
-People that clearly have tons of change (I can see it) and pay with a 100 dollar bill. Arrr, I'm going to shoot you for taking all my change.
-Most people
The guy that talks my ear off, "Norm," but when I make a comment, I get yelled at. Pshh, you expect me to like you? Go cut your mullet, fool.
"Mrs. McCarthy," the craphead that's always in a hurry. She gets like millions of pictures every day. If she has to wait in a line, she has a shit fit, so she calls in advance to ring her up and then expects to cut an entire line when she comes in. You don't have time for a line? Bitch, I don't have time for you.
-People ask me prices for random things off the top of my head like I memorized the whole store. The only prices I know are canned soup and doritos / the entire food aisle. Do I look like a super genius with a crazy memory? No idiot, and I wouldn't waste my time. Go find the price yourself, cause I'm too pissed off at you to pricecheck it.
-People that get mad at me when we don't have their cigarettes. Tehehehehe, I smoked them all because I knew you were coming in to buy them.
-When people ask for "the New Jergen's Natural Glow" lotion. If one more person asks for that, I may walk off a cliff.
-People get mad when I try talking to my family when they come in to visit me and buy stuff. Fine, I won't talk to them and then I'll completely ignore you by not ringing you up, bastard.
-The fact that no one asks if we sell underwear, so I can giggle at them and make them feel awkward. JK
Things That Piss Me off at Work (The Complete List)
-Updated versions of toys that used to be cute:
Sara calls her Strawberry Punkcake
Santa's Little Helper / Santa's Little Whore
-Obnoxious mothers:
"I swear I saw that coyote on County and it had blood dripping from its mouth!" Okay, exaggerate a little more, bitch.
The woman that tries to act like she's intelligent by asking where I'm going to college, like she knows all about pharmacy, but walks around with no pants on, seriously, her coat just covering her in 30 degree weather. Not to mention the fact that she left her purse in her carriage out in the open in a front aisle and went to look at magazines in the back for 15 minutes. I was tempted to take it and hide it.
-People that insist we have a card like CVS and Shaw's, etc. No, you bastard, if we were going to get one we would have by now and I think I would know. I also like to brag about the discount card everyone that works at Brooks gets just to piss them off. "No only employees get those. We get 20% off and 30% off Brooks brand! It's great." Heh heh.
-People that either get mad at me personally for a price being too high or people that say, "Ugh, this is too expensive. I'm going to CVS." You should have gone there in the first place, idiot. Then I wouldn't have had to deal with you.
-People that get mad at me personally when we run out of something. Yes, because I bought all of it just to spite you.
-People that wait at the register when I'm not paying attention or I'm not there. They either obnoxiously yell "hello," "yoohoo," "anybody here" etc, or just stand there and stare at me. They can never just politely say, "Can you please help me?"
-Bastards that steal that go to our school. It's just plain offending. Come back when I'm not working or go to CVS.
-Old people that get shopping carts and end up only buying something that's so small, they could easily carry it. For example, a 5-pack of gum.
-10 cent coupons; oh boy, you really saved!
-People that say, "You missed out on a great day" or "You're missing out on a great day." Gee thanks, it's bad enough I have to be here waiting on bastards like you, but you just had to remind me.
-I try to walk away from the register and someone walks up and says, "You almost got away." Shut up.
-People that are in a hurry. You telling me to hurry up just makes me mess up more.
-People that talk on cell phones. Can you even put it down to say thank you?
-People that ask what we do "up in the office." Oh, we have wild orgies up there. Right, like we have enough time with you jerks who can't stand to hold on one second for me to come down cause I was trying to eat in peace.
-People that push the buttons or open toys that make noise. What are you, 5 years old? STOP. It's only okay for my friends to do that or the guy that was addicted to opening the Shrek 2 cookie jar. He was pretty funny.
-Nosy people that ask what the "April 6" on my hand means. Since you want to know so bad, i'll tell you. It's the day I'm going to kill you. JK
-People that "hover." That is, people that stand near the counter and you think they need to pay but then they walk away. A lady did this to me 4 times today. When she was actually ready, I had a huge handful of returns that I was about to put away and I had to drop them all for her. Bitch.
-People that try to carry 100 things instead of using a basket / a carriage. Then they drop their shit and it spills everywhere.
-People that aren't embarassed to buy enemas, especially the ones that tell me it's a great price. Ew. I'd be embarassed if I were you cause I'm laughing at you on the inside.
-Old people that fling their shit onto the counter, especially if it falls on the ground. Must you fling your shit at me? Would you like to come pick it up yourself?
-People that ask for bags for things with handles. The bag will break cause IT'S HEAVY. That is why a handle was conveniently put on it, not because it's pretty. Stop wasting my bags, jerk.
-People that tell me boring stories. I'm already miserable because I'm here, and now you have to burden me with this boring shit? I DON'T WANT TO TALK. Unless you're funny, find someone else to listen to you.
-People that stay at the register after they are done paying, doing random shit. Get out of the way, ass, I have a line.
-Horny obnoxious men:
A man looks a Cosmopolitan Magazine with Penelope Cruz on it. He starts making disgusting grunting noises and says, "Oh, isn't she the most stunning woman you've ever seen? She is so beautiful. Oh wow!" Dude, I'm a girl. Even so, I disagree. And I don't want to hear about the boner you have. Go talk to another middle-aged man like yourself about it, and leave me alone, bastard. Even worse, he bought the magazine.
-People that ask me if I'm taking a break because I come down from the office chewing. Actually, I was shoving my face with food so I could finish my dinner before it got cold. And, I don't get breaks unless assholes like you don't come in.
-People that ignore me when I say hi. Screw off.
-People that buy like 50 rolls of paper towels / toilet paper, etc. Yeah maybe it was a good sale but by the time this shit runs out, you will be on your death bed, your children will be parents, and there will have been 30 million more sales just like this one.
-People that give me a CVS card, write CVS on their checks, ask about sales that are actually at CVS, etc. With the exception of old people, that's just plain fucked up. How can you not know where you are? Did you not see the huge BROOKS sign when you walked in (not to mention the hundred other ones inside the store)?
-Cranky women:
This bitch riding a bike (I know this because of her clothes and bike helmet) storms up after pissing her pants about having to wait in line for a minute. She throws her tampons at me, pays, rips them out of the box, shoves them in her fanny pack, and hobbles off to the bathroom. Hey, here's some advice: it's called MIDOL.
-People that go to a register that is closed. There's not one, but TWO bright red signs that say "Please use other register." Jeez, are you blind?
-Don't smile at me when I'm frowning; I'm obviously pissed off at you.
-When I eat dinner behind the register, people always say, "Is that good?" God damnit, do I come to your job and stare at you while you eat and ask you questions? It makes me want to puke.
-People always hand me their Credit / Debit cards but I have no idea what they are, so I say, "Do you want Credit or Debit?" And they say, "Um, it's a credit card." Like I should know. Gee, sorry they look exactly the same. I can't read your mind, idiot.
-Obnoxious women:
Matt and Liam came to visit me the other night, so I was talking to them. A woman came up to me and said right in front of them, "Can you please tell me where the female deodarent is, for the vaginal region." Oh man, was I pissing my pants laughing. It was so embarassing.
-People who come up to pay so I start to ring them up. Then they walk away to get something else. DAMNIT.
-People that buy one million tubes of toothpaste, dental floss, etc. How could you possibly need so much all at once. Well actually, I'm probably wrong about that. Instead, from now on, I'll just make those crazy bastards explain that they're going underground for 10 years and need a lot of toothpaste. K?
-People who get mad about lines. Ahh, it's your fault you all came here at the same time.
-People that ask me to help them pick out crap for other people. What the hell? I don't even know you, how am I supposed to pick out something for one of your friends, family members, teachers, lovers, etc?
-Photo crap
People don't realized that we have to look at the 1 hour photo pictures. If we don't, people complain about the color etc. Well anyway, they bring in cameras with disgusting pictures of themselves naked, etc. AHHHHHHHHHHH!
People who bring pictures for overnight processing at around 7 PM and expect them back the next morning. Yep, we've got carrier pigeons that fly out every hour on the hour to be sure your film will be back at a convenient time for you. Right.
People that get mad at us for the quality of pictures they send out. Damnit, they're SENT OUT. Therefore, we do not do them. Sorry bitches.
People that regularly come in that have new rolls all the time. Not kidding, this one crazy lady brings AT LEAST 3 rolls in every other day. What the crap? Is this a child pornography business? Cause if I find out it is, I am not supporting you.
-People that clearly have tons of change (I can see it) and pay with a 100 dollar bill. Arrr, I'm going to shoot you for taking all my change.
-Most people
The guy that talks my ear off, "Norm," but when I make a comment, I get yelled at. Pshh, you expect me to like you? Go cut your mullet, fool.
"Mrs. McCarthy," the craphead that's always in a hurry. She gets like millions of pictures every day. If she has to wait in a line, she has a shit fit, so she calls in advance to ring her up and then expects to cut an entire line when she comes in. You don't have time for a line? Bitch, I don't have time for you.
-People ask me prices for random things off the top of my head like I memorized the whole store. The only prices I know are canned soup and doritos / the entire food aisle. Do I look like a super genius with a crazy memory? No idiot, and I wouldn't waste my time. Go find the price yourself, cause I'm too pissed off at you to pricecheck it.
-People that get mad at me when we don't have their cigarettes. Tehehehehe, I smoked them all because I knew you were coming in to buy them.
-When people ask for "the New Jergen's Natural Glow" lotion. If one more person asks for that, I may walk off a cliff.
-People get mad when I try talking to my family when they come in to visit me and buy stuff. Fine, I won't talk to them and then I'll completely ignore you by not ringing you up, bastard.
-The fact that no one asks if we sell underwear, so I can giggle at them and make them feel awkward. JK
